Lately

Things have been stressful for me. I had everyone breathing down my throat telling me to get a job and thinking I was lazy because I didn't work. It's not that I didn't want to work, it's just because I'm picky, even though I shouldn't be, especially in my situation. Anyway...

I just got hired at my favorite store!!! I'm so happy. 

I was thrilled when I got the call tonight. She gave me my schedule for this week and it's pretty nice. So now that I know I'm working there, I'm going to buy another pair of jeans tomorrow and then buy some other things for my grandma's house. I'll probably stay at her place when I have work 2 or more days in a row since it's 45 minutes away from my house and only 10 minutes away from hers. I'm just really happy. This is awesome! 

I haven't really been posting as much as I would like too. Lately it seems like my mind has been everywhere and I can't ever gather my thoughts. Hopefully I'll start posting again soon.

Followers

If you follow me and I'm not following you back it's because I don't know how :/ but if you leave me a comment giving me your URL then I will follow you, I promise :)

Lomography

I signed up for a Luuux account and started looking at items for my wish list when I came across the Diana Mini as one the items that could be purchased. From that point on, I have spent well over 15 hours researching the Diana+ and the Diana Mini along with Lomography.

I truly fell in love instantly. I want this camera so bad. The pictures that this camera produces are so dreamy and romantic. I am sooo excited to buy this!

I can't wait to take pictures with in the city :)

Does Happiness Really Exist?

I sat there, in a dimly lit room, my desk was a corner unit. Every so often I would look out the window. It's dark now, so all I could see was my reflection. My reflection when I'm sitting which is unsightly.

"Ann is the friend that everyone wishes they could have. She pries the truth out of you in a nurturing way and then stays around to clean up the tears."

I read this and stopped. I stopped. It reminded me of him. It reminded me of Nick. I read these two sentences over and over again and then paused for a minute and looked back out the window. That was the real reason why I didn't try harder to make it work with Nick. These two sentences had Nick all over it. That's how he was. No matter how bad the truth was or how worried he would be of the outcome, to find out what lies I had told him, he would still get it out of me and stay around to clean up the tears, the mess, that I created.

I constantly ask myself if happiness really exists. The truth is, it does. I know this first hand, it's something I thought I had experienced many times before but the truth is, I truly began to understand what true happiness meant when I started to spend time with Nick. Still, to this day, after everything that has happened, I still think he's my true love. That "one and only, can't get enough of" true love.

A slight smile comes across my face as I remember the time I spent with him. I bite my lower lip, without intention, and start to think about everything we've been through.

I believed he saved me. He saved me from life. He saved me from myself. I don't think I could ever be with him, even in a perfect world, if everything was absolutely perfect, I don't think I would want too. Too many memories would remind us both why we stopped talking to begin with. His are very different from mine but I couldn't, I couldn't be what I needed to be at that time. I couldn't be there for him like I needed to be.

Never in my life was I happier. The way he made me laugh, even now, it still amazes me how someone could make me laugh like that. He was witty and understood me. He was smart and loved me. He was honest and cared for me.

I was a liar and he forgave me...

Dinner

I ate. Not a lot. In fact, I stayed within my caloric limit for the day, well to some extent. I was allowed 300 calories today but ate 400. I'm not mad because the truth is, I try to stay under 500 calories unless if my diet states that I should eat more on a particular day, then I do.

Anyways, back to dinner.

Dinner was disgusting. I saw the mashed potatoes on a plate in a shape of an omelet with a line of grease outlining it on the plate. It looked gross, in fact, it looked exactly like the fat I was trying to get rid of on my body that sits there like it's waiting for some sort of parade or something.  However, if you know my dad's cooking, sometimes his food looks gross when he's experimenting with a new recipe and it usually tastes amazing. I gave his greasy potatoes a try. As quickly as they went down my throat they quickly came out.

Lesson learned: Stick to the plan written out the day before and this problem should not happen again.