Yesterday I had a blast! I went to Chicago with a friend of mine to see her apartment which was beautiful and had a modern twist. Loved it! Then we went to Lush and I got a free hand massage when I walked in which was lovely. We went shopping at Water Tower Place and enjoyed chocolates from Ghirardelli that were handed to us as we walked in.
My friend and I were talking about the Chicago Code and just as we stopped, I passed Jenifer Beals! I looked her in the eyes and I thought, Hey, I know her, but it caught me off guard so it took me a minute to realize how I knew her and she's from the Chicago Code. INSANE. So I turned around and yelled,"Jennifer!" I mean, seriously, what was I supposed to say? Anyways, she was so sweet, she turned around, smiled and waved as she went on with her day. She wasn't filiming but just walking around the city. Unfortunately I didn't get a picture of her but I felt like it would have been so tacky, it was just her, my friend and I on the street, I didn't want to bother her with such nonsense. If she was doing a signing or something that would be different, but when you're up close and personal, you realize that celebrities are people too.
After the little run-in with Jennifer, we headed over to a restaurant that gave us a free appetizer buffet when we ordered drinks so that a nice-- a low key dinner. After dinner we headed back to my friend's apartment so she could gather some things to take back home with her and then we headed off to a nearby bar and sat and had drinks for awhile. It was really nice. I had a wonderful time.
Every time I'm in the city I feel like it's my other half, my lover, my best friend. I feel so complete when I'm in the city. It's easy to get lost in a city that has no problem swallowing you up, but for me, Chicago will always be home, my true love.
^visit Lush, you'll get a free hand massage
^water tower place
^inside of water tower place, it wasn't that crowded since we went on a wednesday in the middle of the afternoon
^jennifer beals with costar jason clarke. i still can't believe I saw her, she's just so beautiful.
Thursday I went to the city and it was so nice out. I went to the museum and saw some performance art which was amazing. The performers were dancing in front of a stained window piece and it was so magical and peaceful. The dancers looked like they were weight less and floating through the air. It was incredible. Then we ate at this lovely restaurant which was really nice.
Friday I went out for dinner and drinks with a close friend of mine. All in all, it has been a nice 2 days. Here are some pictures. Enjoy!
This weekend I spent some much needed time with friends. Friday night we went out to dinner and did some gambling. It was so much fun because the slot machine was Sex and the City :) Then the following night I went over to a friend's house for some dinner, wine and music. It was a lovely weekend.
Last night I enjoyed a nice dinner with some friends and then after we went to a bar to enjoy some drinks and music. Little did I know that the band was going to be incredibly awesome. Not only did they interact with their fans but they also interacted with me :) We were so close to the band that I had to move back while the lead guitarist did his solo so I wouldn't get whacked in the face with the neck of the guitar. They sung a bunch of covers and also did their own music. When he started to sing Bruno Mars Just the Way You Are, he knelt down on his knees and looked me in the eyes while he sung,
"Oh her eyes, her eyes, Make the stars look like they're not shining Her hair, her hair Falls perfectly without her trying, She's so beautiful And I tell her every day..."
I couldn't help but smile and I swear I was glowing. I almost started crying. He was gorgeous and had a smile and an amazing personality to match. Best night ever, by far.
I'm so excited. I'm working on sending out my first care package to a friend of mine. I've never sent one out before and the other night I was thinking about all of my beautiful followers and how I could put a smile on one of their faces. So here's my attempt of doing that :) I'm going to go out in a few days to buy some cute little things to send. I wish I could send something to everyone, especially to some of my friends from other countries. I've always wondered how much it costs to ship to another country, I'll have to ask when I ship out her package.
Today I spent my lovely Sunday sipping on some hot coffee while reading Teen VOGUE, OK! and Women's Health along with skimming through some fashion blogs. I'll probably end up working out later as well which always makes me feel so accomplished and refreshed. I hope everyone is having a nice Sunday.
Lately things have been stressful. I started the new year with a bunch of new problems that I didn't have before. Staying positive and focusing on myself have truly helped me get through this difficult time in my life.
Today was spent working out, cleaning and laundry; glamorous, huh? However, I did come across something that is glamorous, a blog called Runway Hippie. It's my new love. I'm always looking for a great fashion blog to catch up on the latest trends.
6 voice mails and 25 minutes later I realized something. What is it that I want and why do I keep going back to the same issues, the same problems, the same failures? Am I addicted to this kind of pain that makes me feel worthless?
I find myself wondering what is love, I even hate having to say this because honestly, those who are in love know it, they just do, but here's the thing, I've been in love, or so I thought and I'm still trying to figure out what it really is. Is love a passion? Is it an understanding that you have with another person? Is it a lie we tell ourselves, something to believe in to get us through our day? I do believe in love, that true love, that gotta have it right now, I'm so into you, kind of love but also that kind of love where, things may not be going to great right now so we need to put in some effort. Now here's where things get tricky, trying to decipher between this intense love and lust.
I think we lose ourselves in lust and hope to find love but where is this love? Sometimes I get little tastes of this love and I feel like I understand it but then life happens and I lose sight of things.
People live their lives in two different ways, those who feel and those who don't. Those who feel, boy, do they get fucked over. You can always spot these people no matter where you are. They're the ones holding the camera while snapping away at natures gifts to us, they're the ones that take the extra second to smile at a stranger. Those who don't feel, they're easily spotted as well. They're the ones telling the person with the camera, to hurry up and take the picture already, who try to avoid eye contact with someone just because they're worried about that awkward feeling of what if I smile and they don't smile back. That's how you can spot these two types of people out.
I used to be that person, the person who didn't feel. Yeah I cried, got mad, felt pain but it was because I got caught or something bad was happening to ME. The thing is, when you're the one who feels, which I think I am now, you feel everything, passion towards another person, sadness because the one you love is sad and so on.
After living in these two different worlds, and yes I call them worlds because that's what it is, I've started to ask myself, which is better? When you feel, it's amazing; happiness, laughing... it takes you to a level that you didn't even know existed, it's a high, but when your sad, the pain goes through each part of you like a knife. However, when I was the person who didn't feel, the high that one should get from being happy, wasn't as high as it should be, and I when I felt pain, I was able to block out the world so that no one could touch me.
After all this time, all this time! I can't figure out what's better. It's so easy to not care, to go through life having an OK job, an OK life. For example, there's a girl who wants to be dancer, she would kill for it and has the body for it, but her parents and her head is telling her to go into business, that's where the money and security is after all. What does she do, she goes into business. She's wants a less than practical car that she worked hard for but she goes for the practical 4 door sedan. She meets a guy who is on her level, sexually, mentally and emotionally and she chooses the guy who she has to pay off his debt because he can't hold down a job.
This is what I'm talking about. It's easier to go with the flow instead of going outside the box to find out who you really are. Life hurts right now. I know if I go back to not feeling, I'll stay that way forever and honestly, right now that would be so easy. However, right now, I do feel. I'm trying to take the steps that are needed in order to have the life I want but at the same time I keep wanting to go back to my old ways, the easier route. For example, with the man who shared the last 4 1/2 years with me, deep down, I know I wasn't in love with him. I loved him and still do but it's the same love that I have for a friend and yet I keep trying to fix things and go back with him even though I know, if we were to be together again, we would be in this same exact spot a year from now or even 6 months from now. I keep holding on to a failure because I'm afraid of another failure, but at the same time, that other failure, could end up being the greatest success of my life.
There's only one way to find out. You know that saying, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade? Well I've been given a whole bag of lemons and I'm just trying to make one glass of lemonade to get me through today.